It's all interpretation*

Star

2012-02-10T12:38:00.000+04:00

Off to Hong Kong on Wednesday for 4 days.

Looking forward to it, no doubt about it. I like going on holiday. I wish I could do it more often. Sadly though, work and money get in the way of that. If I won the lottery...sigh.

I've been before. My best mate and I went back in 2000. Again, that was for about 4 days. It was the first stop off on our round the world adventure. Neither of us had been to Asia before and it was all new. It didn't really start all that well as the flight to Hong Kong was delayed. It soon perked up when we saw Jackie Chan standing waiting for us as we landed. A cardboard cut out of him at any rate. We had to make do with the shuttle bus driver welcoming us.

It really was an amazing experience and I really enjoyed it. I think it's far to say that I really knew nothing about anything at that time but I suppose such innocence was part of it all. It was all eyes wide open trying to take everything in. I can clearly remember going for dinner in Kowloon, into some restaurant. It was like a big canteen. We proceeded to order and me being the nice-but-a-bit-dim bloke I was, I just assumed that because we can order prawn crackers with the Chinese takeaway back in Scotland that we could do so here because, well, we were in China. Clearly the waiter had never heard of them!

It will be odd going back. I'm 12 years older and with that, 12 years richer in experience. My best mate has been substituted by a wife. My advantex camera is no longer in use to take widescreen photos of the harbor at night but not really knowing if they would come out alright. Instead, I have a digital camera and I can take as many shots as I want. The places that I'll want to go may well be the same but they will be 12 years older. I might even get to places that I didn't get to before. I will know not to order prawn crackers. In fact, I might even be a bit more adventurous when it comes to eating. The smells of the street cafes and stalls. I suppose I've also got a bit more disposable money if I want to buy 'stuff'. There is no way that this trip can replace the experiences of the previous trip. I don't want them to. It'll just be different. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Five days til HKG.

Digits

2012-02-09T12:16:00.000+04:00

So, Fabio Cappello has resigned as England Manager. I was a bit surprised by that actually. He was contracted until the end of Euro 2012 on a £6 million-a-year contract. I guess he doesn't exactly need the money, does he?

It seems that his captain was stripped of the captaincy against his wishes. The captain, a certain John Terry. He's not one for keeping out of trouble that one. This time he's been charged with racially abusing another player who just so happens to be the brother of his England defensive partner. Of course, it might all be nothing. It might not be and as it stands, it doesn't look great. The court case is due right after Euro 2012.

I would put money on there being some kind of split in the dressing room particularly if Terry is selected. Of course there would be.

Cappello has had enough and off he has gone back to Italy. Not great timing you would think given that the Euro's take place in 4 or 5 months time. I think he probably should have left after the World Cup. England were rubbish and he proved to be stuck on 4-4-2. Fine if you have the players and the players have the energy and imagination to use it effectively to defeat lesser opposition who would invariably pack the midfield. He didn't and they were sent packing.

England would not have won the Euro's but have even less chance now you would think. They certainly know how to shoot themselves in the foot.

Up in Scotland, the Rangers Vs. Inland Revenue or whoever it is, is still going on. Apparently, Rangers owe something stupid like £40 million to the Government. Rangers disagree, for obvious reasons. I'm no tax expert but if they lose that, they are going to be in the proverbial you know what. It might even lead to going into Administration. Certain football fans, if not most of them would be delighted with that, I'm sure. Let's see what happens with that.

2bears

2012-02-08T19:04:00.000+04:00

Been knackered this week. Yawning my face off and out like a light as soon as my head hits the pillow. I have been cycling and stuff this week so that might be the root cause of it all. That or walking to and from work just doesn't agree with me anymore. Old age kicks in. Better bloody not be the case.

Not related but I must write this down. In one of my classes is a guy. Not sure how old he is. Older than me, that's for sure. The first time I met him, something just looked 'off'. Something just didn't look right. I wasn't sure if was the way he stood or moved. I couldn't put my finger on it. I met him again and when I did, I thought 'hold on, what's up with his head?' From what I could see, he had like a Grade 3 or something at the back and sides. So far, so normal. But the rest of his hair just didn't 'sit'. It was as if he had had a bad haircut. Where the 'Grade 3' should have met the hair was a big kind of overlap of longer hair that just kind of sat. The hair on his head kind of looked a bit greasy as well. Again, fair enough. Some people have hair like that. And a bad haircut from time to time. I can definitely claim to have had a bad haircut in my time.

The 3rd time I met him was actually in class. Again, it just wasn't right. I ignored it and tried not to look. It's like that scene in the not-so-great Italian Job when Mark Wahlberg and Mos Def go to meet the 'Koreans'. Mos Def is told not to stare as the Korean dude is huuge. He stares. A lot. Well, I wasn't exactly like that. After class, I had to ask one of my colleagues what the story was.

'It's a wig' was the response.

I knew it. There was no way that it could have been real and so it proved!

My colleague said that he was bald and basically, got a wig.

How does that work though. I mean, if you are bald, you get a wig and then, what, the next day you go to work with it on? People would notice. I guess that's the whole point but wouldn't the people think 'hold on, he had no hair yesterday...' Wouldn't people say to him? Perhaps people are much to polite to say anything these days. Or maybe he went on a really long holiday and when he got back to work, he had hair and because he had been away so long, people had forgotten that he had no hair.

The point being, if you are bald you are bald. If I see a bald guy I look once 'oh he's bald' end of story. I don't need to look again. But, if a guy is wearing a wig, particularly a bad looking wig, I'm not just going to look once and move on. In fact, I'm going to look again to confirm what I thought I saw or didn't see the first time. Surely that defeats the purpose of someone who has a wig. He doesn't want you to look at him but what actually happens is the opposite. You do look and with it, you bring more attention on you!

I can't say anything to him though. I'd love to say 'look, you look silly, sort it out'. That probably wouldn't go down too well.

I can't imagine I'll get a wig. If I have no hair, I have no hair.

inches

2012-02-07T18:16:00.000+04:00

I mentioned a couple of week ago about this car parking situation at the airport. It really doesn't bother me at the moment. I'm close enough to work so that I can walk without it being much of an issue. In fact, it's probably doing me good. 20 minutes there, and 20 minutes back. That's exercise that I've not been getting. For others though, it's been a inconvenience but most people have just dealt with it and adapted accordingly. You would, wouldn't you?

So, it appears that people have been parking in their designated areas, then either walking to the entry gate at the airport or taking a shuttle bus there and back. Easy. Well, to most folk it is.

Cue, our 'local' colleague. Seemingly the shuttle bus doesn't stop right at the door to the entry gate and she has to walk the length of herself from the drop off point to the entry gate. All of less that 100 metres. My god, what a dreadful distance to travel. On foot. It must be hell. She then kicked up a fuss saying that there was no shuttle bus blah blah blah. At this point, I really stopped listening. I couldn't care less. I just nodded and pretended to listen. So what if the shuttle bus doesn't stop right at the door. It's that kind of response that does my head. Perhaps it's a culture thing and what doesn't bother me, bothers her. Fair enough. But come on...

Mitts

2012-02-06T18:05:00.000+04:00

I was reading Rolling Stone the other day. Mostly I read it for the music but at times it's Politic articles are interesting. I clicked on one about US Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney. I don't know much about him or what he does. In the article it listed his 10 worst gaffes. Always a good read. Apart from trying to make a 10, 000 dollar bet live on national TV, he said this:

"I'm not concerned about the very poor."

Distasteful, isn't it?

To my eyes it is. If you are going to lead a country then you surely have to be all inclusive. You can't go leaving people behind or excluding people. What is that all about. If people in your country, the one you want to lead are very poor, you bloody well better be concerned. Why are they like that? What are the reasons for them being like that? And on top of that, what solutions can you make as leader to help? If they are not the fundamental questions that you are asking, then what kind of a leader are you? Hell, what kind of a man are you?

Oh, I forgot, the very poor are more likely to be disenfranchised and not able to vote and so you wouldn't lose any votes by not caring about them.

I bet he cares about the people at the other end of the scale, the ones with money and who can and do vote. I bet you 10, 000 dollars you care.

Doug

2012-02-04T17:51:00.000+04:00

Billy Ocean.

You may or may not have heard of this guy before?

He was a really, superbig artist back in the 1980's. Indeed, I read that he still is the biggest selling Black UK artist ever. He had hits like 'When the going gets tough..' from Romancing the Stone, 'Caribbean Queen' and that song with Phil Collins, 'Easy Lover' I think.

The reason I mentioned him is because he played at the Irish Village across the road from us!

We had an excellent view of the stage from our balcony believe it or not. So there we were, scoffing sushi and Rose wine listening to him. He was alright and definitely had a big crowd at the Village. At £10 a ticket, I'm not surprised. That's cheap. I can't say I'm a big fan but it's not everyday that he essentially plays next to the house. Sadly, 'Billy Ocean is playing in my house' doesn't quite have the same ring to it as 'Daft Punk are playing in my house' but you can't have everything.

Seemingly another big act from the 1980's were meant to be playing as well, but in the end they didn't. The band? The Christians. They might well have only been big in Britain mind!

MPH

2012-02-01T13:15:00.000+04:00

That's the 1st month of the year gone in a flash. One of my goals this year was to get fit. Or should I say, fitter. We have a gym at the top our building and is great. When I can be bothered going to it.

When I do go, I have begun to record what I do in terms of time spent and distance 'travelled'. Mostly I cycle. There is a treadmill but I don't really enjoy running all that much. If I cycle though, I can read at the same time and that makes the time go faster. It's all about deceiving myself you see. So, last month I worked out that I had cycled something like 85km and spent about 2 and a half hours doing so. The longest I cycled was for 30 minutes and in that time I managed about 13km. I'm not sure if that's a lot. I suppose that its my 'benchmark' for the rest of the year. I really want it to continue. Often I just can't be bothered with it but once I'm there and doing it, I'm fine. I feel tired after but also refreshed. It does feel 'good'. Its all a mental thing with me. Got to be tough.

I've also bought a pack of resistance bands. Basically, it strips of plastic, like a burst balloon I suppose which stretches. The longer the band the easier it is to stretch, the shorter it is the harder it is and with it, you can tone your muscles. Its to be used in place of weights. Well, I think it sounds like a good idea!

February is here and it's time to continue with it. I'm aiming for 15 days of 'action'. That might be pushing especially since we're off to Hong Kong in the middle of the month. No pain, no gain. Apparently.

Rax

2012-01-27T11:41:00.000+04:00

The early year events here in Dubai are coming thick and fast. Kind of.

The Dubai Tennis Championship takes place at the end of February with the top 4 men in the world booked to make an appearance. Whether or not they will actually come is another matter. But, since we literally live across the road from where it is taking place, it really would be rude not to go. Last year we only got tickets for the women's semi-final but this year, we did well. I managed to get tickets for the men's semi-final and the men's final. Delighted. Should be a big crowd in for both and with a bit of luck, we might see Federer, Murray, Djokovic et al. That would be good.

Second up is the Emirates Literature Festival /now there's a plug/ which is around the same time as the Tennis. Last year we saw Charlie Boorman, the bloke that went with Ewen MacGregor around the world on bikes. He was entertaining! We also saw Tony Parsons who wasn't quite as entertaining as Charlie but pretty insightful nonetheless. Oh and I spoke to both of them. Shameless really. Anyway this year we're going to see David Nicholls who wrote 'Starter for Ten'and 'One Day'. I've heard of him but I can't say that I've read any of his stuff. Best get onto that now. Next up will be Jeremy Bowen who is a reporter with the BBC. I bet he's got some stories to tell, that's for sure.

Looking forward to both events actually. It breaks up the daily grind I guess. Oh and a trip to Hong Kong. Maybe married life isn't all that bad?

Reprieve

2012-01-19T20:24:00.000+04:00

For gods sake.

I got an e-mail this morning from my Admin woman saying that we may not have to park in the new parking which is further away and really not all that good. Instead, we might be able to park when the great washed park, right next to the terminal building. I'm not going to be counting my chickens just yet. I'll wait until it's all down in writing and signed by whoever!

Let's see.

What a strange week, all things considered.

Dub

2012-01-18T20:21:00.000+04:00

To add to my annoyance this week, has been the last minute announcement that the large, 5 story car park that I park in at work will be closed and demolished. Next week. Yes, next week!

What the hell?!

There was an A4 size sheet of paper put up on the ground floor of the car park last Thursday saying that as of Sunday the car park would be closing and that everyone who parked there will be moved to another car park about 5 minutes drive up the road. In summary, the car park you are using will be gone in 3 days. Deal with it.

Only in Dubai.

I didn't drive to work on Sunday because I knew it would be chaos and that's the last thing I need on the first day of the working week. I get to work to find that the afore mentioned car park was still standing. Indeed, it was still in use despite the signs saying otherwise. In fact, some of my colleagues had parked there as normal. I was confused. My colleagues were confused. No one seemed to know what the heck was going on. One of my colleagues went to find out and to get his ticket so that he could use the other car park. He did so and he found out that the existing car park would be open until the end of the month. He proceeded to ensure his ticket for the new car park was ready and working, just in case.

That left me in a bit of a quandary. The current car park is right across the road from where I enter the airport. It totally serves it's purpose for me. The new car park is actually further away and is not across the road from where I enter the car park. It's really not convenient at all. But what are the options? There really isn't anything. The senior bosses get parking right outside the terminal building but the great unwashed that I belong to do not. That would be ideal. Plus, there is no way I am walking to work come the summer. Too hot. Too sweaty and that is at 6am. I guess I'll just have to grin and bare it.

All this because the Flight Catering arm of the company want to expand. Good for them. Probably good for us in the longer term but crap right here and now.

Alloy

2012-01-17T14:55:00.000+04:00

The continuing saga of getting my Emirates ID card continues as does the fines associated with it. I must stress that this wasn't the only thing on my mind. I do have other things that I'm concerned about. Honest.

Anyway, after work I decided it was time to go to other place nearby to get it all sorted out. I was at the place by 6.45pm. There were a lot of people around and from the look of it, they had been waiting a while. I noticed one of those ticketing matches which, well, gives you a ticket and when the your number comes up, you go to the counter. The ticketing machine though had it's buttons covered up as if it was 'off'. Or done for the day. I must say, I was a bit sly. I lifted the cover up and pressed it. A ticket came out. I took it whilst no one was looking.

The ticket said that there were 53 people in front of me. The first of many sighs. I waited. I played one of the games on my phone. I walked about. I sighed. I texted the missus. Slowly the numbers dwindled. When I say 'slowly', I mean, I waited until 8.30pm. By which time, people had been turned away. I flashed my ticket saying I was still waiting. I wasn't giving the ticket up. With it, I would definitely get seen. I hoped. 8.45pm came. It was my number. I was there in a flash. The poor bloke at the counter was in surprisingly good spirits given that he had been there since 7.30am. Twelve hours. Then me, who had been cheeky and taken a ticket when I probably should not have. He was fine though and got on with it. In the end, I paid the money but I wasn't fined. I kept quiet about that one. I wonder if it was all a ploy to get people to register. "Yeah, lets start a rumour..." It might have been the case. Sometime after 9pm I left the place. What a waste of an evening. It's the same thing whenever you need to get 'official' things done here. I remember when I had my driving test. I was waiting for 2 hours or more to take it. Stupid. Just stupid.

The next step is to go to the main office and get fingerprinted. /Haven't I already done that?!/ Then they will send the card out. No ETA for this mind. Plenty more chances to be fined though. Let's see what happens.

Downtime

2012-01-16T14:43:00.000+04:00

Thankfully our wonderful company has an Emirates National ID card office in the company HQ. How convenient, don't you think?! And given the news yesterday, I thought I would head over to it early doors to see if I could get my card applied for. I had all the documents required, basically my passport and the visa within it. /don't they have that information already?!/

So, I got there early, only to find that it was totally jammed packed. The word was out and all the people in a similar boat to me had had the same idea. Get it done!

I didn't stay. I would have been there all day. Besides, there are other 'typing centres' which can do the same thing. I decided that that would be the best option. After work then, I went to one not too far from my place only to find it closed. At 4pm?! I gave up. I wasn't going to go hunting for a place to do it. £3 fine or not.

Percept

2012-01-15T14:38:00.000+04:00

So, I was up at our IT building in the morning. I'm working on creating a new online English test. It's going slowly though that isn't necessarily due to anything holding it up from my point of view. The IT guys aren't the quickest and I can't say they really consider it a big priority. Fair enough, they have other things to be getting on with. But.

To get things moving, I had to go up and meet one of them. He's OK and I get on fine with him. Before we got down to business, he was telling me about one of his colleagues. The back story is that here in the UAE, national ID cards for everyone have been introduced. In certain Emirates, they are now compulsory whereas here in Dubai the deadline to get them is June the year. After which, anyone who does not have one or is slow in getting it renewed - they are valid for 3 years - will be getting a 20 Dhs per day fine (about £3) up to a maximum of 1000 Dhs (£120 or so). That was the latest, officially.

The IT guy was saying though that one of his colleagues had gone to get his card renewed as it was more than 3 years old. He went to the office to be told that he was being fined because he was a week late in applying for it. He was also told that because Emirates as an organisation is considered 'semi-government', all such organisations and its employees had a deadline of 1st January 2012 to get their cards, and not June as had been stated.

The word was out and it had spread mild panic amongst of lot of people. I guess I was concerned too. I had to get my finger out. The irony being that Emirates has, in the past, been classed as a 'government' and non-government' organisation. It really seems to be changed depending on the situation. Take the case of national holidays. For that, we are certainly not on a par with other 'government' organisations which have more days off. I wish someone would make up their mind as to what we are. Indeed this fining was complete news to many. I doubt anyone in the upper circles of the company even knew about.

Governments, honestly.

The upshot being that I now need to get this card even though I have absolutely no need for it. It does not help me get any additional services, I don't need to come and go from the country. It's all just for show and - this is alleged - to provide a new department so that more local people can be employed in. Oh and to 'tax' everyone so the government can raise funds. Again, that is alleged!

Oh and I did get my online test moving. Though not quickly.

Taste

2012-01-14T14:23:00.000+04:00

One minute we were at the beach watching people fly their kits, the next (i.e. withing half a hour!) we were sitting pulling on our ice skates at the Dubai Mall.

Only in Dubai.

Yes, ice skating. I can't even remember the last time I went ice skating. I do remember 'skating' on my arse last winter back in Scotland but in no way was that planned! I was a bit nervous about it to be honest. The last thing you want to do is fall on your back side or even worse, injure yourself. That would be terrible. In the end, I did neither which was some feat. The old arm waving for balance maneuver was employed on a good few occasions. It's neither classy nor cool but it does the job. My feet definitely did hurt at the end. I suppose that was due to trying to balance and grip onto the skate itself. In such situations, I guess you tend to tense up as well.

The thing that annoyed me though was the little punks who whizz in and out of everyone. OK, they are good and can skate infinitely better than me but why do they need to skate so close and so fast. They scare me. In fact, the whole experience was scary.

I wonder if we'll go back?

Perhaps. Practice makes perfect after all.

2012-01-13T20:23:00.000+04:00

Eh, yeah, scrap that. Yesterday I had a highest score of 258. Today, I don't. I have a highest score of 269. At bowling. On the X-box. Surely there must be some mistake, Miss Moneypenny. I can't explain it either. I don' think I will even try to explain it. It just happened. I nailed it every time. The 'perfect' line and length. Never to be repeated. Ever.

Anyway, today saw us go up to a place called Satwa. Up in Satwa they have the very best chicken kebabs. Cheap and absolutely brilliant. Love them. But that wasn't the real reason for going up. Instead, the missus was interested in getting a dress made. They have a whole street of fabric shops and tailors who can make anything. We were in one shop that had a lot of fabrics that were almost exactly what she was looking for. She was trying to get a copy of a Ted Baker dress made. It is a beautiful dress, no doubt about it. The tailor said he could do it, but it was going to be expensive.

Whilst she was doing all that, I had a look at getting a suit made. I've always bought suits of the shelf so to speak. One in my life it would be great to actually have a tailored suit. So long as I didn't put on weight. They could make a suit for approximately £120 which is as much as you would pay for an O.K suit in the likes of Next or Marks and Spencers. In fact, it was on a par with the last suit I bought in Zara. They had some very nice fabrics as well. I was tempted. And I might actually investigate further. I'd need to pick a cut that would suit me. That's the hard part. In saying that, I'm going to the home of the 'shiny' suit - Hong Kong - in a month, so it might be worth investigating getting one there.

The irony is, I don't really wear suits that much at all. In a formal setting, yes, but I've now got a kilt and the full ensemble which I'd wear rather than a suit. I guess though you get to a certain age and it's important to have a couple of nice suits, just in case.

Oh and the chicken kebabs on the way home were ace!

Tri-

2012-01-12T11:59:00.000+04:00

We got a lend of EA Sports for the X-box the other day. I've never really been one for video games, particularly the likes of football based games. The playability has generally been terrible and I would lose interest quickly. I guess I could apply that across the board actually - lose interest. But, I had a sly shot of 10 pin bowling before the missus got back from work. The cheek of me!

Now, actual 10 pin bowling, I don't mind. We used to go on a Saturday night sometimes back in the long distant days. One of the perks of friends having their first car - a drive to the Megabowl. I did bowl in Korea which was often pretty good. I've bowled once or twice in Dubai, so definitely not a lot.

Bowling on the X-box is a different kettle of fish. I might say its easier. It must be. How else can you explain a highest score of 258. I'll write that again just to show that it was no typing error. 258. Eight strikes in total. I've never ever scored that much in my entire life. I doubt that will ever be repeated. I'll never come close to it again.

I'm not sure what happened. It's always the case with bowling, sometimes you just nail it. Each and every time you bowl, it's on line. Other times, you could hit a barn door and no amount of adjusting your stance can correct it. I was just on line all the time. Yes, people can say 'well, it was only on the X-box'. True. But give me my moment of glory. For one day only!

Strips

2012-01-11T16:32:00.001+04:00

I got to the office today to hear that Emirates are going to be flying to Glasgow twice a day. I know that doesn't mean much to a lot of people, but I must say, about bloomin' time!

Currently there is only a single flight per day which is O.K. Pretty much every time I fly that route, it's at least 3/4 full. Good for the business but on a personal note, it's always really hard to get discounted tickets because 'regular' customers come first. The upshot is that I would fly to Newcastle which is less busy but further away from home.

So to hear that an extra flight has been added is a bonus and offers more flexibility. Seemingly the 2nd flight will leave Dubai at 3pm and get into Glasgow at 8pm. The return arriving in Dubai at 8am. If that's confirmed, then I could in theory work most of my normal day on a Thursday for example, leave the office at 1pm and fly out at 3pm. That is in contrast to now in which I'd work as normal on a Thursday but not fly out until 8am on the Friday morning. I'd essentially be getting an extra day at home!

Ideally, it would fly to Edinburgh but you can't have everything.

Vaccine

2012-01-10T16:49:00.000+04:00

I have been on a 2 day course called 'Personal Effectiveness'. I quite like attending these courses. The first reason for me liking them is that its actually easier for me to get to the course than it is to get to the office - I can have a longer lie!

Not only that but it gives you a chance to meet people of a similiar grade from different parts of the organisation. This time, we have people from Group Medical, Travel Services, Transport and finally Cargo. A good mix actually.

The course looked at how we can become more effective. The hint was in the name!

Over the past couple of days, we looked at time management, communication styles, assertiveness, and being proactive. It was interesting. Some of it, I had heard of before particularly the time management matrix. What really caught my attention was the on the first day, we had a list of values like honesty, family, ethics, health. We were asked to select the 10 that were most important to us. That in itself was really hard. Once we had selected our 10, we then had to compared one with the other and ask ourselves which of the 2 we placed as more important.

Some interesting results where thrown up. In 1st position, but only just, was knowledge. I then had a spread of 4 at the same level i.e. in the '2nd' position. I can't exactly remember what they were but honesty, relationships, and family were there. Slightly lower was health which is a cause for concern!

Knowledge being 1st was kind of a surprise, but by considering it in more depth, it probably is true. That's what I want. I want to know about things. Everything! I suppose that without knowledge, you don't really have anything. How can you understand things that happen or experiences you have without a knowledge of how to get yourself through them? Knowledge is Power, is the sentence that springs to mind. I'm not the cleverest and I'm never going to be able to scale the heights achieved by the great thinkers or theorists. I won't be able to formulate answers to the big questions like 'why are we here?' 'What's the point of life?' et al but so long as I can satisfy my quest for some kind of 'answer' then all well and good.

And on that note, I'll shut up.

Honk

2012-01-03T11:32:00.000+04:00

Back to work yesterday. How depressing. The festive feeling well and truly over. That said, there were still quite of a lot of people still off on leave, including my boss. In many ways it was a gentle side back into it.

Yesterday was also the day my car registration expired. Here in Dubai, you have to register your car each year. It costs something like 400 dirhams. In order to register your car, you need to get your car insured and what we would call an MOT to ensure that your car is safe. This year, is my final exception of performing an MOT as the car is only 3 years old. I don't need to fart about with all that. My insurance has come down slightly as well to 1050 dirhams. I was 1300 dirhams last year. Not really a big saving - £50 or so. Fully comp so I can't complain too much.

I have everything in place now so come the weekend, I'll get that sorted out. It really is a pain in the ass though. When you get to the office, you have to go to this counter, then the next counter blah blah blah. It does my head in. Thankfully, it's only once a year.

Didn't go and do my 30 minutes exercise. Damn it.

Differential

2012-01-02T11:14:00.000+04:00

What's new this year?

A hard one.

I've tried to come up with things that are quantifiable. Something that came be measured. That in itself is hard. I am conscious of my health. I can definitely say that I have not been as active as I have been. I don't like that at all actually. To counter that, I want to keep it simple and use the gym upstairs. I'm not setting an unrealistic goals in terms of being able to lift this or that, instead I want to do 30 minutes of either cycling, rowing or running 3 times a week. That would be 3 times more than I'm doing currently. If anything else occurs like sit ups and the like then so be it but this '3 times a week' is my baseline. Distance and time to be recorded. I don't particularly eat loads and loads but I suspect that I could be eating more fruit and veg.

I had said that I wanted to become more familiar with Garage Band on my laptop. I like music. I like listening to it. That does not necessarily mean that I can string 2 notes together but I would like to try. It'll be purely for my own benefit and enjoyment.

There is also the small matter of saving money. I have a figure in my head to put aside per month. Generally, I do that anyway though I have never really formalised it. I know what I want to set aside. If I can achieve that, then brilliant. The reason for this is essentially to buy a house. I don't think we'd buy here in Dubai. In Scotland perhaps but the other option would be in France, specifically the south of France. You are more likely to get more for your money there. It's something to aim for.

Other things that I would like to build upon, but are not especially 'measurable' as such would include being more proactive, particularly at work. Being helpful, courteous and more tolerant of others. I might even write here more often.

Two in 2 days isn't a bad start.

Pass

2012-01-01T11:03:00.000+04:00

Let's get this show on the road...

Out with the old and in with the new. Eh, well, not really the new as such as this site remains the same but the year is new. And that's about it so far.

Last night the missus and I went out to a place called Warehouse. It offered unlimited food and drink from 9 to 1am. Not a bad option, all things considered. It wasn't nearly as busy as I thought it would be. It wasn't dead, that's for sure but I there seemed to be a lot of 'walk-in' customers. Mostly blokes. The food was good. I tended towards sushi and what you could call finger food. I had to taste all the ice cream on offer. It was a bit embarrassing actually. They had 5 flavours and I said I would like a scoop of each. Clearly something was lost in translation and I ended up with 5 different plates. The coffee one was awful. The others were lovely. The beer though kept flowing and why not, it was hogmanay.

Midnight came and went. The countdown was shown on the big screens. No Old Auld Lang Syne sadly. You can't have everything. It wasn't an especially late night. The reason for this was only to reveal itself in the little small hours. The missus spent more time in the bathroom than anything. Food poisoning. Nasty. The previous night we order sushi which, in hindsight, wasn't a good choice. It came back to bite her. Badly. It's not what you want to see, ever. At 8am I was at the chemist getting stuff. That wasn't how New Years Day was meant to start.

Needless to say, today was not a day for anything other than resting up and watching TV. Dirty Dancing was the afternoon film. I've never actually seen it before - well, in its entirely that is. Not particularly my cup of tea but it has its moments. I didn't release that it had quite an 'adult' context.

I've not heard any reports of the celebrations here in Dubai. No doubt there will be photos of the Burj Khalifa floating about in the news later.

2012. Bloody hell.

Gone

2011-12-31T18:25:00.001+04:00

Not much else to say at the moment other than it's Hogmanay:

Happy New Year!

(Was going to insert random, generic picture of fireworks or something but won't!)

Bubble

2011-12-30T18:17:00.000+04:00

Big events have happened this year. Not just to me but in the World. I've not really commented on them to be fair.

Now is the time!

I've been quietly impressed with the Occupy thing. I hope it continues and I hope that something good comes of it because let's face it, something isn't right when the wealth is kept by the 1%. Fundamentally and ethically, that is wrong. I like to see that changed. How is the question however. It's all fine well saying this or that is wrong but the crux is surely what happens next. What happens when X is changed, what comes in it's place? It's kind of related to the situations in Libya and Egypt. They changed and that is commendable but what now. That's really the issue for me.

I've mentioned the 'phonehacking' previously. I still maintain what I said back then. Perhaps the new year will bring something on that. I hope so. Heads to roll? A change in power? Hard to say. Will it be another whitewash? I think it's too big to be that. Fingers crossed.

I can't continue without mentioning my beloved football. I really should get a hobby, but football is football. In Scotland there were 1, 700 punter's at a top level match. That is shockingly bad. That just goes to show how bad things are now. I've said it before but it's worth saying again. Cut the ticket prices, get the punters in. It's not rocket science. 3, 000 people paying £25 or 10, 000 people paying a tenner. I'd rather get the bigger crowd as it adds to the atmosphere. I hope this trend doesn't continue. Scotland needs football and a strong national team. Please please can those up the top do something.

What else has been bothering me?

The usual: inequality and lack of fairness around me and around the world. It's everywhere really. Heck, it's here in Dubai. Its in the company I work for, for goodness sake! I'd better not elaborate.

I can't think of anything else in the big, bad world. I am mostly in this little bubble. Previously, I was all 'militant' and had opinions on the big issues. These days, I'm less inclined and am more concerned with what's around me. Is that an age thing? Mellowing is perhaps what its called?

Or tiredness.

Elevens

2011-12-29T18:00:00.000+04:00

Can I really get away with a list of lists or even a best of for 2011?

Probably not. I might give up half way through, so lets see...

I've mentioned before that I've been a bit stuck in terms of music this year. I don't know if it's because it's been a slow year or if music is changing or it's age related. Perhaps all of the above. I have listened a lot to songs rather than whole albums.

That said, I really have listened a lot to Gil Scott-Heron and Jamie XX's 'We're New Here'. In many ways, its not something that I would have particularly listened to. It was a bit of a curveball but sometimes that is what happens. A little chance is taken. Often it turns out to be a poor choice, but not on this occasion. It's fantastic. I liked Justice's new album. It's not a dance record at all. It's a prog-rock album. Yes, you read that right. Who knew?

Honourable mention to The Rapture for In the Grace of Your Love. How Deep is Your Love was a fantastic first single. All cow bells and high hat. And a saxophone.

In terms of songs, I thought that Lotus Flower by Radiohead was one of the surprises of the year. How do they do that? It's bloody a dubstep song for goodness sake. It's been played a lot. So has Otis by Kanye and Jay-Z. It's old school soul and it's excellent. Predictable but I love the simplicity of REM's final single, We All Go Back to Where We Belong. And the video. Return to form, breaking up who cares, it's just one of those songs. I quite liked parts of Rustie and the Weeknd but definitely need more listens. The same can be said of Kitsune Tabloid by the Twelves. Liking it so far but only got it at Christmas!

Others? Definitely but I seem to have the attention span of a fish. Five minutes and that's about it. Needless to say, the hook up between Metallica and Lou Reed, clocking in at hours and hours didn't get a listen to.

That is all.

Attack

2011-12-27T16:57:00.000+04:00

Back to the bloody office today. I'd like to say that I was really looking forward to it and that I really did loads of work and was very productive. I wasn't. Instead, I was covering the classes of my colleague who was, yes you've guessed it, on holiday. I'll get my own back.

I'm trying to look ahead to the new year. It's quite hard though. So much I'd like to do. Isn't that always the case? By the same token, it's all about reflecting on what has been. Eventful, is perhaps the shortest way to describe 2011. There is no way that I can encapsulate all that has happened in one paragraph. I'm not that gifted. I hope that some of the posts that have gone before this one have given an insight into what has gone before. A snapshot, if nothing else.

Clearly, the biggest event took place on Friday 19th August. The 'I' became 'WE'. I don't recall if I ever did get round to describing what happened that evening? I'll recap, just in case.

In short, we had speeches and a buffet. Then this absolutely thrilling thing called 'Handfasting'. It was a 2nd ceremony in which we had some Highlander /think Braveheart extra/ conduct a traditional Scottish joining of hands. It was really meant for the evening guests. Often they come to a wedding and don't really get a flavour of what went before. We didn't want that. Everyone was called into the foyer by this Highlander. We were in the middle and he went through the ceremony. He asked the guests questions and everyone got involved by shouting 'AYE' at the top of their voice. It was something I've never seen before, ever.

Next was the dance. Cheryl Cole, 3 Words was the song. Not perhaps the most obvious choice but it had meaning. I had been worried about the dance. Four minutes of, well, dancing. In front of 120 + people. Not my idea of fun. But it was. It was brilliant. I couldn't care if anyone else enjoyed it. We did. And we finished 'on time'. After that, I could relax and enjoy it. Did everyone else? I hope so but by the same token, it was our day and we definitely did.

Yes, Friday 19th August. Eventful.

Other days were eventful. Perhaps too many to mention...

boxed

2011-12-26T13:31:00.000+04:00

I took today off work. As well as yesterday actually. It's a normal working day for us lot, though a number of people did take a few days off. Back to the office tomorrow.

Today, we went and did a bit of a tour of the city for the in-laws. We had planned to go to the Jumeirah beach Park but when we got there, found that it was only for Women and Children. What a pain that was. Instead, we went to the Park. No beach but you can't have everything. We took most of the leftovers from yesterday i.e Turkey!

After that we went out to Global Village which is a big, glorified market. It's alright. I can't say that in all the times I've been, I've come away with anything but the missus is a fan of the pottery and getting some designer handbags for what are not designer handbag prices.

Then, finally, off out for an excellent curry at Coconut Grove in Rydes Plaza. It was massive and I really struggled with it. It was good though. I just know that the toilet at work tomorrow will be used. It comes with the territory!

Day

2011-12-25T09:01:00.000+04:00

Yes, that day. Merry Christmas. And the real reason for it, well, that has been lost somewhere along the way particularly whilst living in a Muslim country. That said, there are more than a few Christmas trees and bright, colourful decorations going around the Malls and shops here in Dubai.

I digress.

Christmas Day with the sun shining and the temperature hitting 25C it is somewhat surreal. In my own house with my own missus and my own in laws. How times have changed for the better. I can say that completely truthfully and honestly.

A quick run down of what happened. Books and shoes and sweets and DVD's where the things gratefully received. It's always a very hard thing to receive things. I don't always feel particularly comfortable with it. By the same token, I find it very difficult settling on things to get for others. I really do my best and it does play on my mind in the run up. It's hard.

Most of the afternoon was spent 'in the kitchen'. As first assistant to the missus. I don't know how she managed to do what she did but my goodness, did she do an absolutely fantastic job of Christmas dinner. Turkey and all the trimmings. It was wonderful. I know it stressed the hell out of her especially since her folks were here but it worked and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I even had seconds.

Before dinner though, I did get to speak with them back home. They were just up and hadn't even opened their presents. What's wrong with these people?! Also had a couple of minutes with my brother and sister in law and my nephew which was lovely.

In the evening, it was the Inbetweeners movie and some drinks. The Inbetweeners was a brilliant TV program but I'm always wary of when a TV program is converted to a film. There have been a few misses on that front - Sex in the City and perhaps even X-files to name but two. I was praying that it wouldn't be added to that list. In the end, it was touch and go. Not quite as good as on the small screen but it had its moments. A decent attempt.

After the film, I think it was fair to say that the household were fairly knackered. It's often the case on Christmas day. I think the excitement of the past few days had taken its toll. Or perhaps it was the alcohol. Not sure. Either way, it wasn't a late night at all.

And that was Christmas day. Until next year.

35.

2011-12-24T08:40:00.000+04:00

Half way. Or at least, I'd like to think so. Half way to kicking the bucket. Morbid thought but it really has been playing on my mind of late. Can realistically expect to live to 70? Using that as my basemark...then yes.

First though, this is what I did on my birthday!

I was very lucky indeed. My beautiful wife is amazing. She got me this very posh looking coffee machine, coffee and cups to go with it. I was touched. The box was massive and I must say that I had no idea what was in it. She continues to surprise me in so many ways. Fantastic. That was not all. I was told to get up and dressed by 12 noon. I did and I found a big birthday cake had been delivered. Then there was a knock at the door. "You can get that" she said. I did and it was some of our mates. What were they doing here? Not long after, another knock at the door. It was my boss. What the heck?

But, we cut the cake and had that. I got a 'slight' happy birthday sung to me!

Later in the afternoon, the missus, the in-laws and myself headed out. To where, I didn't know. I found out though. Afternoon tea at the Palace hotel. Quality! We'd been before and it was immense. Lovely finger sandwiches and cakes. Right up my street. All overlooking the Burj Khalifa. I think the in-laws really enjoyed as well which is what it is all about.

Next up, Wafi for cocktails. Then perhaps the most unexpected bit. At Wafi they had a Christmas themed light show. I wasn't expecting much but it was absolutely fantastic. I must explain that Wafi is a themed shopping mall of sorts. It's based on the Pyramids and has statues from that era. This light show was projected onto the statues. It was really innovative. They made the 30 foot high statues disappear!

Finally, it was off to the Dubliners. A local bar for a few beers followed by a walk down the street home.

I must say, my birthday has never really felt like an enjoyable day. It's Christmas Eve for goodness sake. Nobody cares, it's Christmas the day after and everyone cares about that. But, my feelings for it might just be changing. That though is entirely down to the best missus a bloke could have. Thank you.

Now that I've written all that, I can't be bothered writing about my 'half way' thoughts. Perhaps I'll save that for later when I'm less than cheery.

Bloody 35.

Club

2011-12-23T14:19:00.000+04:00

Today was Desert Safari day!

Yes, I've been on it before but it really is a great day out.

First up was a Falcon show in which they basically flew a Falcon around for a few minutes. It was a new addition to the Safari. It was interesting and a bit on the hot side, well, hot for December. Then was the drive through the sand dunes in our massive 4x4 beast. I quite enjoyed that. Bit bumpy but that's the whole point of it.

This was all topped off by dinner in the desert. It was ace. Kebab's, salad's, schwarma's. What else could you want?!

At the end, they switched all the lights off in order to let us see all the stars above. I really should learn about the constellations and where they are. It's pathetic to say that I don't really have any idea about them or where they are. What if I got lost and needed to use the stars to navigate. I'd be totally stuck. And lost.

And the down side to the day...the sand. In your shoes and elsewhere!

Ad Lib

2011-12-22T12:57:00.000+04:00

A shocker of a morning.

1. Left the house on time, left the building, walked across the road to Aviation College. At the college is a 5 level car park. I often park my car on the ground level. As you walk in to the car park, on the left is a door that opens on to you. This is the stairs to the higher levels. As I go to this door, it suddenly opened very quickly out and towards me. I literally dropped a brown log in my underwear. I didn't though. I didn't even have time to. Somehow I managed to stop before the door whacked me in the face. I didn't even manage to utter a single word to have a go at the bloke who opened it. I was in shock. A close call.

2. After my near miss experience, I walked up to the car. Something wasn't right. The drivers side door was open. Not just a little bit open but open by about a foot. It was clearly open. 'Oh god' I thought. I got in and everything was as I left it the day before. Somehow everything was still in it's place. Not only that, but the car was still there. In one piece. Not stolen or anything. I couldn't believe my luck. I just sat there in the drivers seat thinking 'bloody hell'. Then I recalled yesterday when I left it. I had got out of the car and went round to the boot to take stuff out. I then closed the boot and walked round to the passenger side. Thinking that I was done, I walked away from the car. I using use the remote to lock it. I pressed the bottom and usually it beeps when it's locked but it didn't. I tried again but nothing. I just thought that perhaps the batteries had gone. I went back and manually locked the passenger side. The beauties of central locking. I know realise that the reason the remote didn't work is because the drivers door wasn't closed. What a fool.

3. I had my socks on inside out all day long.

Freefall

2011-12-21T11:46:00.000+04:00

Thank god for that. A success. Yes, the away day came and went. Well, I say 'success', from my point of view it was. It'll be interesting to hear the feedback of the department when we get back to the office tomorrow.

I got to the venue about and hour and a half before it started. We had to get stuff laid out and prepared. I think that was the hardest part to be honest. The pressure was on actually. For this Rollercoaster activity we had a lot of equipment that needed to be put out. Thankfully we had enough equipment and when the teams came to start it, they really got into it. Essentially they had to make a 'rollercoaster' using pipes and bamboo sticks etc. We also gave them a metal ball. The ball had to go from the top of the 'rollercoaster' to the bottom in something like 10-20 seconds. No mean feat to be honest. We set some conditions, like the rollercoaster had to start at a height more than 6 feet and had to finish at a height of 6 inches. They really did well and hats off to them.

After lunch was our talent show and again, my colleagues really continue to surprise. They really went for it. There was singing, dancing, acting...it was tremendous. It seemed as if everyone had a smile on their face at the end. In many ways, that was the whole purpose of the day. That is especially true given that our department has never been busier on the training front.

At the end of the day, my feet were totally aching. I hardly sat down all day. That comes with the territory though. On top of that, my in-laws flew into Dubai last night at 1am. Me and the missus went and got them. I had no issue at all with doing that, in fact I wanted to. It just meant that we both didn't get a full nights sleep and because of that, I was certainly feeling a bit drained. Not only that, it was the nervous energy in the build up to the day that finally was released.

Until next year! (Not sure if I want to get involved in organising it though!)

Roll on the holidays and roll on Christmas.

Pending

2011-12-20T11:35:00.000+04:00

It was all going so well...

On Wednesday, we were due to have a departmental away day. It was all organised, everything was pretty much ready for it. I got to work on the Tuesday and I knew I had a few bits and bobs to do but mostly small things like printing off the agenda, making sure materials were in place. Being one of the lead facilitators, today was going to be difficult but I had tried to make it 'less' difficult.

Then I saw an E-mail from my boss. Suddenly I knew it was going to be a difficult day. We were planning on launching individually tailored developmental plans to everyone in the department. We had spent the past 3 weeks writing it, preparing it, researching for it. It was essentially done. My boss even OK'd it. Yet, this E-mail blew it all away. Apparently, we hadn't included a lot of 'stuff'. Why, at the last minute, was this being drawn to our attention?!

I literally blew my top!

In the end, I helped out, got the last minute changes done and left the rest of the dirty work to my colleagues. I can't be doing with last minute-isms. Perhaps it's a cultural thing but they do my head.

Alas, come the end of the working day, I was set. I had everything ready and that's all I could do really.

The day out was going to be at one of the local golf clubs. A really lovely location actually. We had 2 activities planned. The first involved team work to construct a scale model rollercoaster. The other activity was basically a rip off of America's Got Talent. I was excited about them, but there is always that fear that the activities might go pear shaped. All in all, it was going to be a day away from the office with a free lunch included.

Let's see what happens!

Circumference

2011-12-17T20:50:00.000+04:00

I took my car in for it's 'end of warranty' service this morning. I've had it 3 years now, surprisingly. It's still is decent condition. A few chips in the paint though which bother me. They bother me because they have been caused by other people. People who open their doors and whack the side of my doors. I'd have a rant and a rave about it but what's the use. The bigger cars pick on the little cars here. And I've got a small car. It bothers me because I try to take care of my car yet this idiots have little regard for others. O.K. I'll shut up!

End of warranty service. That's what I was going on about. In all it took about an hour. I went back to pick it up and the only thing they told me was that I might need to replace the A/C gas. In this part of the world, I would not want to go without A/C come summer time but for now, I can cope. Besides, the A/C works totally fine. Perhaps they just want more money out of me. And I got a free car wash. Not all good news though. They ran it for 80 km's during the service. That's a lot of petrol when you have a small car like mine. Can't really complain too much though.

In other 'events', I was watching Midnight in Paris. Woody Allen directed it and it starred Owen Wilson. I must say, it's not all that bad. It's a bit farfetched but for a couple of hours escapism, it ticks a lot of boxes.

As a period piece, the attention to detail is excellent. That said, why didn't Hemingway, or Dali or Fitzgerald ask why Owen Wilson's character was wearing such strange clothes? Or anyone wonder where all these 'new' words in his draft novel had come from? How did he manage to get back to the present?

Yeah, nitpicking, I know!

One further thing, Owen Wilson as the lead though?!

Amber

2011-12-16T18:33:00.003+04:00

There we were, sitting in the back of a taxi on the way home from a leaving party. It was around midnight. We had been at the Address next to Dubai Mall. Despite the hour, it was fairly busy. A lot of people going around and also a lot of cars. We needed to get out of the Dubai Mall 'complex' and on to Sheik Zayed Road to take us home. It would generally take 20 minutes or so for me to drive and I don't drive fast!

We approached a set of traffic lights in the extreme left lane. There were 3 other lanes to out right. Each one of the lanes started to fill up. We were a distance from the lights themselves. We waited. And waited. And waited. The lights didn't change.

In Dubai, drivers are notoriously impatient. Waiting just isn't done yet here we were, literally sitting for 5 minutes waiting for the lights to change. I know that because the meter in the taxi had a clock timing the journey. We kept waiting. Then came a brace of horns. Patience had snapped from drivers behind. The horns got louder and more frequent. Still the lights didn't change. The horns kept coming.

In the end, the cars at the front had had enough and even though the lights were still at red, the cars went for it! All of them!

What could the Police do on seeing the footage? Give tickets to everyone?! It was quite a sight to be honest. Total disregard of the lights. Imagine that was to happen en masse. Chaos!

That wasn't the only notable thing on the journey home. Our friendly Syrian driver was mental. He drove super duper fast. I was scared. He was like 130Km/h downhill on a slip road. Needless to say, seatbelts were on. We did make it back in one piece. Somehow.

I'm not getting in his taxi again.

Interloper

2011-12-15T18:40:00.000+04:00

I just can't quite believe how stupidly busy things are at work. I've rarely been this busy. The thing is, I don't really know how. I think it's probably been due to me taking more things on and being really intolerant of my colleagues. That's sounds harsh as anything but it's true. If you want something done, there is little point in waiting for them to get this moving. I do it myself now and get on to them to do the bits that I don't fancy. Perhaps that's called delegating but I kind of think I'm being rude telling them to do X or Y. And by Z. I suspect that's business for you. Maybe the penny has dropped for me. That's how to do things. Don't wait for others to take the lead. Instead, take the lead. Get it done and if that means annoying people then so be it*.

* I have had a cold this week and that probably hasn't helped!

Boxes

2011-12-12T18:44:00.000+04:00

Finally, the Christmas shopping is close to being complete. Thank you interweb thingy, websites and posting and packaging. Without it, I might have been stuffed.

Clearly I can't divulge what I've got for people but needless to say I did what I could. I'm not the most imaginative person when it comes to getting things for people but I do what I can. This year, I've done O.K. Not one gift voucher in sight. That in itself is a cause for celebration!

The question is now, will everything arrive at their destinations on time?

Rust

2011-12-04T10:47:00.000+04:00

Back at work. A full working week ahead. 5 days. Was thinking that this will be my first full working week since the end of October. I wonder if the energy levels will suddenly fall come Thursday, if not before. Can't be bothered!

I can't really afford to not be on the ball this week. Got deadlines to meet. We're making this development booklet for everyone in the department, essentially it outlines areas and related courses that our staff can do to help develop them within their job and increase their skills so that they can move to a higher level position. It's going to be job specific which is great as we don't have anything like that currently. The downside is that it means we'll need to make 4 or 5 different versions to cater for everyone. Around 60% of each will be the same which isn't too bad. That might help us timewise.

I've got until Thursday to get it done. That is quite tight but to be honest, I want it done by Wednesday, which is even tighter. At least if it's in place by Wednesday, Thursday can be the day for tweeking it if need be. After that, it needs to get signed off by the management then printed, ready for the big unveiling the week before Christmas.

Let the games begin.

Profile

2011-12-03T19:37:00.000+04:00

The final day of our long weekend. Back to work tomorrow. What a thought that is. On the plus side, another long weekend coming up over Christmas. Made sure I got those days off work that's for sure. First come, first served.

It was a morning for sunbathing. Yep, on the roof beside the pool. It was lovely. The right side of warm with a little breeze. Topped off with a little swim.

In the afternoon, a sly visit to the pub to sit outside and have a cider or 2. Haven't done that for ages. Sadly, no Magners on the go but Strongbow. I'd forgotten how bitter that tastes compared with Magners. Alas, it was nice just to sit out and have a drink. I did feel a bit tipsy on the way home but given that we are a 5 minute walk, it was easy to disguise my tipsyness!

That's it though. No more drinking until, eh, well, Wednesday actually. Mulled wine and mincemeat pies on offer at the Irish Village around the corner from 6pm. Got to get there early for that. In fact, I think there is a carol concert at the same time. That's not weird, is it? A carol concert, mulled wine in a Muslim country whilst sitting outside in the sunshine.

Only in Dubai.

Fortune

2011-12-02T19:49:00.000+04:00

I never win anything. Raffles, lottery you name it, I never win. I suppose I'm just not a lucky kind of guy when it comes to that kind of thing. I'm lucky in other respects - getting nice jobs, having a beautiful wife, the usual!

That all changed today!

I was doing the weekly shop at Carrefour. I hadn't even planned to go there but changed my mind at the last minute. I had my list and my 1 Dirham coin for the trolley and off I went. I don't mind Carrefour. They mostly have everything that we need. But, the reason for not going all that often is that it is generally packed out, particularly late on Friday's. Thankfully though I got there early afternoon. Not too bad.

So, I picked everything up that I needed and headed to the check out. The missus called me en route and because of that I moved towards 'her' end of the shop. I settled on the checkout that I would spend less time at and went for it. There were only a couple of people in front of me - and no one lurking to jump in front. I loaded my stuff onto the conveyor belt. The guy in front paid up and it was 'my' turn. The missus had turned up by this point so began to pack stuff away.

Just as she started this other bloke rushed towards us with a microphone. He was saying something into it that I didn't quite get. Behind him was some other store worker. She was busy with some documents or other. The bloke with the microphone then asked the cashier if he had 'started' to which he said 'yes'. The guy with the microphone let out an almighty 'we have a winner!'

Needless to say, I didn't have a clue what was going on. The missus being the missus was mortified and wanted to escape as soon as possible!

As it turns out, the bloke with microphone was an MC. He and his colleague had a 'wheel of fortune'. The numbers on the wheel corresponded to a checkout number. He had spun the wheel and low and behold, the number of my checkout had come up. A minor miracle. The prize? My trolley full of shopping was free!

Sadly, it wasn't the biggest shop ever but it was still a sizable one and to get it free, well, beggars can't be choosers!

I wonder long long it'll be until I win anything else?! Another 30 years?!

Civil

2011-12-01T11:27:00.000+04:00

December is here and with it, my advent calendar and the Christmas tree.

Yes, a Christmas tree in Dubai. Decorated with snowmen no less. The cheek of it. It's a big one, 7 foot but not real, don't worry although I have seen a certain place selling real ones. It's now in the corner of the living room looking a little bit isolated actually. We've got quite a big living room you see.

But the tree is awesome. Clearly, I can't take much credit for it, the missus does!

Christmas Cards to be written followed by the gifts. The Christmas cards are the easy bit. The gifts though. Hmm. I've got an idea of what to get but it's getting them. Then getting back to the U.K. for folks. Tricky.

Beggers

2011-11-30T09:01:00.000+04:00

I had planned to write about the fact that it was St. Andrew's Day today - the patron saint of Scotland and all that jazz. A glowing reposte of the motherland. That though will not now happen because on one incident on the way home from work. The incident, to me, just sums Dubai up. It took place over the course of about a minute but says it all.

I had just driven out of the car park at work. To do that, I need to take a left turn. On this short stretch of 2 lane road there is a smaller road that feeds on to it perhaps 30 metres ahead of where I turned on to it. Literally right after where the smaller road joins 'my road', is a sharp right turn. The road then becomes 4 lane. At the end of this stretch of road are traffic lights. Th traffic lights are only about 20 metres from the sharp right turn.

So, I had just turned left and I was in the left lane of the 2. Ahead - but not that far ahead - a big fat 4x4 car pulled out in to my road. Because he had a big fat car, he took up half of my lane as well. This bloke had the windows down, arm out, smoking. Smug looking. I had to slow down for this. He made for the right of the 2 lanes. I stayed left.

As we turned the sharp right, he was a car length ahead on the right. I remained in my lane. Without warning, on the bend this bloke cut across into my lane. No indicator, clearly didn't look in his mirrors, just went for it. I had to slam the brakes on and I stopped less than a foot away from him, horn blaring. Did he flinch? Did he stop? No. He kept going and crossed to the next again lane. I got moving again and just as I did the green lights came on. I managed to get level with this idiot and stared over to him. He was turning left, me straight on. He just gave a look of 'so what' as if it's something that he does all the time. 'So what, I've got a big car. I can do what I want'.

That's not an isolated incident. It happens all the time. That's the mentality here. No thought for anything or anyone. Me, me, me. Big car. I own the road. It's a horrible thing to say but I hope that bloke crashes. That's the only why he will take notice. I hope that he doesn't injure someone in the process.

Happy St. Andrew's Day.

Extend

2011-11-26T09:40:00.000+04:00

Long weekend. A bonus. The occasion is Islamic New Year. So Happy New Year. The only down side, if that all the pubs and clubs are closed and no alcohol can be served. Puts a bit of a dampener on things really. To be honest, I didn't see much celebrating. No late night parties or anything. Instead, it hardly caused a ripple. I couldn't even tell you what 'year' it is. Poor show, old boy.

On bright side, a day off. That's always welcome.

It's funny because for the first 6 or 7 months of the year, there are about 2 Public holidays. Then, for the remainder of the year there is literally one every month. Indeed, the UAE National day is penciled in for 2nd December. It's a Friday which means we'll get a day off either on the Thursday before or the Sunday. I hope it's the Sunday rather than the Thursday. If we get Thursday off then we'll only have 3 working days this week. If it's the Sunday then we'll have 2 back to back 4 day working weeks. Nice.

For this long weekend though, it's all about getting set for Christmas - yeah, Christmas. Believe it or not, all the big supermarkets have Christmas decorations on sale along with most of the large shops. It really is just like being at home. In fact, we went to ACE Hardware (B and Q to us Brits) and they are selling not just artificial Christmas trees but real ones! I don't think we'll be getting a real one though.

On top of that, the in-laws are flying over for Christmas, so we need to get the house looking spic and span. Actually, we have a large balcony that we tend not to use but we're thinking of having Christmas dinner on it this year. We'll need to brighten it up though with plants and stuff. Let's see what happens there!

Then there is the small matter of what to get people for Christmas. That's a headache in itself.

Box

2011-11-25T08:58:00.000+04:00

The joy of going on holiday is always offset with the sense of dread of returning to work. You just know that there will be a 100 e-mails to wade through and 2 weeks of 'action' to catch up on. It's not always pleasant. In saying that, it means your first day back is pretty much taken up with replying to messages aka sitting at your desk drinking tea.

And that is how it happened. The first day back.

Not only that but my beautiful wife was flying off to Nepal on a business trip. A day after getting back from honeymoon. Talk about being 'dumped'! But, it gave me a chance to unpack and get my washing sorted out. Another negative when returning from holiday. It has to be done though.

When's the next holiday?

Rattle

2011-11-24T19:42:00.000+04:00

Yes, a suite. There, I've said it.

It's hard to condense 2 weeks worth of 'activities' into a posting or 2 so I think I'll just list the main things we did in Mauritius and be done with.

Week 1.

Pointe aux Piment with a stop at the Aquarium.
Bus ride to and from the capital Port Louis. The afternoon spent visiting the water front area, followed by the markets and Chinatown.
Bus up the coast to Grande Baie along with visiting temples.
Glass bottom board ride.
Day trip to a colonial house, tea plantation, botanic garden, rum factory, crocodile park followed by a visit to an old 'fort' on the coast.
Drunken night out to Grande Baie!

Week 2.

Beach.
Sunday market in Grande Baie.
Catamaran day trip down the East coast followed by a trip to Ile aux Cerf.
Bus trip to the next village up, Triolet. Then to the botanic gardens at Pamplemousses then to the Sugar Museum up the road from that.
Candle light dinner on the beach at the hotel.
More beach.
More Jacuzzi!
Afternoon in Grande Baie for touristy stuff.
Fight with the check-in agent at the airport on the way home. On-line check-in counter in which we waited 35 minutes in. What was the purpose of checking in online if you have to wait 35 minutes?! Pointless. And he was told so.
Flew home.

Beach

2011-11-23T11:08:00.000+04:00

The 'little surprise' that was waiting was a big fat, suite!

I've never had a suite before and hell, I've stayed at some fairly rank hotels in my time but a suite. Fantastic. Massive bed, massive balcony massive bathroom - 2 sinks and the best bit, a massive jacuzzi. What else could you ask for. Well, the bed to be decked out with flowers and in the jacuzzi filled with warm bubble bath and petals with a bottle of sparkling stuff and chocolates along side. Nice.

The view wasn't all that shabby either. The Indian Ocean and a Western aspect. Sunsets!

We were a bit knackered so the afternoon we didn't do much other than relax with the bubbly and the chocolates. And the jacuzzi of course.

At night we headed off for dinner. We had breakfast and dinner included so we didn't need to worry about heading out and finding places to eat. Sometimes it can be a bit hit and miss. Instead, it was a buffet everyday and with that, 2 weeks later, was a couple of Kg on the waist line. I wonder if that weight will ever come off? After dinner had a bit of a wander around the resort. Beach on one side, sugar cane fields on the other. Not really much else. A shop 5 minutes away and beyond that a little village called Pointe aux Piment. Sleepy would be one way to describe it. There was a bar at the hotel so we ventured there and tried the local beer. Hmm, could be better. There was a band playing but to be honest, it was all very quiet. Indeed, it was for the remainder of the honeymoon. Not much nightlife.

The next day was on the beach, then a trip to Pointe aux Piment and the aquarium. We also met the holiday rep and arranged a trip to the central plateau to see how tea is made! We also arranged a trip to an island off the main island called Ile aux Serf.

That was about it for the first couple of day. Relaxing was the name of the game.

Petals

2011-11-22T19:56:00.000+04:00

Where to start with the Honeymoon?

At the start, of course.

We flew out of Dubai at the ungodly hour of 3am. It's been a long, long time since I've take a night flight. Certainly, all the Emirates flights from Glasgow or indeed the flights to and from Korea where daytime ones which turned into night flights, but this was the first seriously late flight.

The flight itself was packed. Really packed. It wasn't a bad flight exactly, not bumpy at least but 2 unusual things happened. The first, and avert your eyes now if you are queasy, if that I actually had to go for a - how can I put it - a 'sit down' on the toilet during the flight itself. That has never ever happened before. I held 2 things sacred. Never do a number 2 in a bar or on a plane. Whoosh. I broke that duck. Scary. I think my body just wasn't sure what was happening. The second unusual thing was that when the plane landed it came to the end of the runway. Nothing strange there. Generally planes then head for the adjoining taxiway and head to the terminal. Not this one. We actually came to a complete halt at the end of the runway, then did a U-Turn then headed back up the runway, then to the terminal!

Needless to say, MRU is not a busy airport.

We were then picked up at arrivals and driven to the North West of the Island to our hotel. The drive took about an hour and a bit. Not a bad drive but could feel myself nodding off. After all, we had been up for 24 hours by this stage i.e. work on the Thursday, flew out at 3am Friday morning.

We then got to the hotel - Le Meridien Ile Maurice in Pointe aux Piment. And a little surprise was waiting.

Grace

2011-11-21T19:42:00.001+04:00

Been on my Honeymoon!

Let's just say, it was totally fantastic - Mauritius, we love you and thank you. Temples, beaches, tea, rum, sugar cane, palm trees and more beaches. Alas, no dodos. More to follow.

Floating

2011-11-01T19:33:00.000+04:00

I was walking around on the many shopping malls here in Dubai the other day. I was minding my own business just thinking about where I was going and what I had to do. But then I started noticing things. At first I was like 'Oh'. I kept walking and the 'oh's' started to increase in frequency and with it, my alarm. Finally I managed to get it out of my mind and the 'oh's' disappeared.

I had to go to another shopping mall yesterday near my place. Again, I was walking to my destination and again I started noticing things. The same things that I noticed the last time I was in a shopping mall. The thought had come back and once again I started to get alarmed.

The thing that has got me so alarmed is the fact that there are so many - how can I put this in a polite way?

O.K. I'll just come out and say it. There so many fatties here in Dubai. Males fatties. It's not limited to a particular nationality. There are just a lot of fatties. Now, I realise that this may not just be something that is found in Dubai. But it might be. The reason this alarms me is that one day, that might be me. A fatty and I don't want that. I already know that if I do become a fatty, I'll put it all on right on my belly. Everything else will be 'as normal'. That thought occurred to me on the way to work. There was an Indian bloke standing with his back to me. He looked totally normal, yet, as he turned around he wasn't. It outted itself. His belly that is.

That can't be me. I'm at the age that things like that stick and don't budge. The lifestyle here in Dubai does centre around food and restaurants. It's quick and easy to phone out or go round the corner for a curry or something. It's actually harder to go about cooking.

That is a warning. That won't be me!

Patterned

2011-10-31T19:50:00.000+04:00

Working at an Airport allows many things. Access to the area around a plane for example. The area around a plane is restricted but beyond that is an area that cargo or equipment can be parked prior to loading a plane.

I was on my way up to one of the other offices when I passed one such place. The plane hadn't arrived yet but there was some cargo lying waiting. Two pallets actually. On one pallet was a very nice sports car, all strapped up and ready to be move on to the plane. It's not all that unusual to transport cars in passenger planes so long as there is enough space. It's mostly expensive cars that you see like this. Ferrari's, BMW's, Porsche's. You get the picture. This first pallet was a top of the range Audi sport thing. Two seater. Probably some rich bloke wanting to take his car with him on holiday. As I say, nothing unusual in that.

On the 2nd pallet was also a car. It was...

Yep, a Nissan Sunny much like this one!

I had to look twice because I didn't quite believe what I was seeing. Give it it's due, Nissan Sunny's are fine cars. They get you from A to B relatively quickly and comfortably. What else does it need to do.

But.

You don't load them onto planes and take them to another country with you. I mean, it's likely to cost you more to ship it than to simply buy a new car at the destination. The owner must have really loved it to do that. Or be mental. I'd be embarrassed to do that. But, each to their own.

Bust

2011-10-30T19:23:00.000+04:00

There I was, with the missus in the supermarket. We had finished our shopping and decided to head to the nearest checkout. We had our own 'stuff' and wanted to pay for them separately. It's something that we often do. So, I went first and put my stuff on the conveyor belt. She did the same. There were a couple of people in front waiting in the queue. The first person passed through the checkout and off he went. The second person has just started to get his stuff scanned when from nowhere this bloke came and stood just in front of me.

A queue jumper!

I wasn't have this. He stayed were he was. Didn't even turn around to say 'is it OK if I cut in front?' No, he did nothing. Blanked me. I asked him if he was in the queue. I was polite at this point. He said no but then he started to give me the 'I've only got one item' sob story. 'I couldn't give a proverbial f*ck' is what I thought to myself. 'Is your time more precious than mine?' I continued thinking.

Thinking over, I told him that no he couldn't jump in front of me and that there were other people waiting in the queue. 'Only one item' he replied. 'I don't care, there is a queue' I said. In the end, he said 'O.K. O.K.' and off he went.

The missus didn't really know what was going on. She saw what was happening but hadn't heard the conversation. She just thought I'd told that he could go ahead and so proceeded to let him in front of her!

After we had both passed through the checkout did I find out that she actually did this. And only after that did she find out that I had told him to go and get stuffed. She was surprised. Fair enough, but at the end of the day, this wasn't the guy's first ever attempt at queue jumping. Not a chance. He knew what he was doing and frankly I'm fed up with people like that. People who think that they are more 'special' and 'deserve' to go ahead and spend less time waiting that others. One item or not matey, off you go. I bet he thought I'd let him in. I don't think so.

Granted, it wasn't the most courteous thing to do but enough is enough. Had he asked, then I probably would have let him ahead. But he didn't and he was rude. End of story.

Anyone else want to mess with me?!